My Life An autobiography of my life
by TheAwesomeEmoDude
Summary: My Life  An autobiography of fond memories and my general life
1. Chapter 1

**My life**

My parent's never told me about my birth, I don't know if it's normal for parents to tell you how you escaped the confines of your mothers womb. But anything to do with family is such a sore spot for my mum to talk about. When I ask her a question tat even relates to family life she just... pushes me away, and before you say ANYTHING I can't ask my dad. My dad is never at home because he's always at work, shopping, or sleeping. That's pretty much all his life consists of. After 14 years of what I see as sheer hell in life form, I'm an emo, I smoked when I was 12, I listen to heavy metal/rock or anything depressing, and you'll always see me alone. Unless I'm with my one mate who lives near me. I've saved the best till last... So here it is, and it's in the form of 2 words that couldn't mean more to me. Rebecca grant.

The first paragraph was just a little insight into what 7 years of bullying in primary school – secondary school does to you. I have friends but I prefer to be alone as much as I can, with my music, and my thoughts. I've just grown to not give a sh!t any more about what people think of me. I learned to conceal my anger, hatred, and love by year 4. I just let people do what they were going to do to me an the just get on with life. If someone wanted to beat me up I didn't care. I let them do it and then I just got on with life. To give myself something to do in school other than draw and think, I listened in lessons. I then developed a love of English, reading, and became rather fond of maths. Everything started to make sense and all seem so easy to understand and remember. When the rest of the school were struggling with their SATS, I breezed through it.

Now onto some memories. Perhaps one of my fondest of all, was my cat smudgie, or smudge for short. I loved him dearly with all my heart. He meant to the world to me, and as I write this I'm crying. He always used to listen to me, whatever I was rambling on about. He was the only one I could talk to. I remember sometimes I used to sing to him, and he would fall asleep. I always wondered why he had to go. It was like life set me up to break my heart in multiple places. He left a hole in my heart that I can never fill. I have 2 cats now. But I try not to get too close, because I know that afterwards I'll need to fix my heart with sticky tape. I'll have 3 holes to try and fill. And I don't think I can do that. I'm still trying to get over primary school. This is more than telling you, the reader about my life. This is a sort of release for me. I need to get stuff off my chest. This is my way to do it.

Enough of the past, and the present. For once the present came before the past. Now for the future. I don't know what the future will be like for me. All I can do is hope for the best, and work as hard as I can in school. I don't even know what I want to be when I'm older. I do however know that I want cats, and a car. Also I know one more thing. I want to be with Rebecca Grant FOREVER! And one day, I plan to make her mine forever. That day will truly be the happiest day of my life.

This is the end of my autobiography, FOR NOW! Yes, there will be more instalments as stuff happens.


	2. Chapter 2

**My Life (2)**

In my past entry I spoke about my present, then past, then future. In this entry I hope to enrich your understanding of my life. By doing so, enriching mine. Christmas for my family has always been tough. My mum never enjoys herself. It's just "the guys" who make the most of it. "The guys" being my dad and 3 brothers and me. Even I can't properly enjoy myself because I'm not an alcoholic. So my dad and 3 brothers get hammered around 6 o'clock, mum goes to bed around 10, and I stay up till early morning with "the guys".an round every year, and my mum still never enjoys herself. I enjoy being depressed, it gives me this feeling in my chest and stomach that I enjoy. You may call me emo, all I'll say in response is "I know". When I get bored I eat. So I'm fat. There's one person who means the world and more to me, and she knows who she is. In case you don't her name is Rebecca and she's beautiful, and awesome, and just so brilliantly loveable. She is also an awesome writer. Check out her profile. It's Auraya Kairi Black.

Sometimes I love my life, and sometimes I wish the ground would open up and swallow me whole. I was almost run over by a bus when I was about 5 years old, and ever since I've been very reckless crossing roads an stuff like that because I just don't care any more. If you don't want to hear the story of how I was almost crushed my a bus then skip this paragraph :). So you've decided to read on huh? It's nothing special. Superman didn't swoop down and save me. Spider-man didn't whip me with his web and pull me to safety in his arms. Nobody intervened. Basically my dad took me across the road with him when I was still riding with stabilisers on either side of my bike. We got to the end of the road before he had to cross to get to the shops. He told me to wait where I was, but I misheard him and followed him across the road. He sped off, thinking I was safe on the other side of the road, but in fact I was trailing behind him very slowly. A bus was going over the speed bump next to me so he was going slowly. I looked up and saw his face and he couldn't see me so I kept on pedalling. I made it without being run over, and when I looked back people were gasping and holding their mouths, and my dad was waiting for me on the other side of the road and told me off for following him. I then went home and told my mum what had happened. She almost fainted. See! If you were expecting some heroic person to run in and save me, it never happened. Superman must've been bust that day, and Spider-man must've been delivering pizzas or something.

That's not a very fond memory, but It's one that I'll never forget. It's also quite fun to tell to people and see their reactions. The bus was apparently really close to hitting my bike.

That's my second instalment of my little autobiography. Hope you enjoyed it, and keep reading :)


	3. Chapter 3

**My Life (3)**

So far I hope that you've gained an understanding of my life and it's messed up mechanics. I have actually nearly been run over like, 10 times by now, but I won't go into the details of those encounters. I blame primary school entirely for me being an emo. The people who make the classes need to go die, because they put me in the same class as EVERY $$hole in the year. I had one twat called jack bullying me every day, as if it was almost a hobby. I met him outside of school in year 8 (we went to separate schools) and I almost knocked his teeth out. I also had a b!tch called Helen who was like Jack's accomplice. I occasionally see her outside of school. (We also go to separate schools) but I've never come within 10 ft of her since primary school.

There was however, one good thing about primary school. I had a massive crush on one girl. We never spoke though. I always used to stare at her. Funny thing is, in secondary school she's in my class, but the feelings just aren't there anymore. I suppose she kept me sane during primary school, so for that I thank her. I wasted about 4 years of my life adoring her from afar, and I guess I just learned from my mistakes. I also learned to compress whatever happened, happy or sad, and keep it bottled up. Then just let it out when I can, and this is one huge let out.

Recently I've just started becoming explosive with my anger. There's one kid, I don't even know what his name is but he's about 2 years younger than me and thinks that he can just say what he wants and get away with it. But he can't. That's one other thing that I've learnt in life.

Depression is like my drug.

The 3rd instalment of my mini- autobiography, hope you enjoy reading about my boring, depressing life.


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